the mac guy is a douche and I still don't know what computer to buy

I'm in a serious, committed relationship that is coming to an end. Through break-downs and hiccups, true ups and downs - we have worked together almost every single day. We have traveled together; we have worked together. But after 5 years, I've come to the conclusion that the relationship is over - and in fact, was really over a year ago. We've dragged it out long enough. It's time to buy a new laptop.

I’ve been a PC girl since personal computers were created, and I work on a PC all day every day at work. I consider myself to be a "computer person." I’m pretty good with upgrading items, figuring basic things out, and I build websites for a living... so I have that base of knowledge. Hardware, on the other hand, is not something I completely understand. I can pretend to know about processors, RAM, hard-drives and whatnot... but there is a reason I brought a tech-savvy friend with me to go computer shopping. I need a translator.

The issue is this: because of my frustrations with my elderly computer, I'm starting to think about those damn Mac ads. Everyone seems to be a "Mac person" or a "PC Person" and I’m just getting lost in all of the opinions! I know that my main frustrations with my current PC Laptop are this:

• battery life
• loud
• hot
• slow
• heavy

It's important to know, however, that my computer is 5 years old and desperately in need of replacement - so anything will be faster and lighter. But the battery never really worked well and the computer itself has always been loud.

I work from home a lot, although I access my work computer remotely. Therefore, my computer just needs the ability for VPN and remote desktop. I think I need to install Windows in order to accomplish this. I don't know if my company's VPN will work on Windows 7 and I don't know who to ask.

I think I’m ready to make the switch to a MAC... but I’m nervous I’m not going to know how the heck the thing works or where to start! As a "computer person," I find that not knowing incredibly frustrating whenever I’m trying to surf around on a friend’s computer.

Also - as dumb as it sounds, the smugness of the "Mac guy" in the ads really annoys me. I feel bad for PC guy. (And I'm not the only one. Just google "mac guy is a jerk" and you'll find numerous articles like this one.) Also, that smugness seems to translate to real life. When did Mac people become holier than thou The Mac associate at Micro Center yesterday was so self-righteous; I stopped talking to him and used my phone-a-friend lifeline instead.

Me: Do you know about how much it would be to purchase Windows separately to add on to a MAC?

Smug Mac Dude: To donate to the Bill Gates Retirement fund, will probably run you about $150... (Or whatever the amount was)

Ew. What makes you so much better than everyone else, Mac dude? If you love Apple so much, why don’t you get a real job at the Apple store?

Photo from: http://pantsinacan.com/2007/04/

Anyway, I know what I've read in reviews of the two types of computers. In all sorts of testing (downloads, upgrades, shut downs, restarts) Macs are just faster. Is that enough to risk a huge change in my life to a new computer? Am I ready for this commitment and change? Will a PC serve me just as well? And how can I figure out what operating system to purchase on a Mac in order to work from home? We need a match.com for matching people and computers.